


Valduggery Interrupted (+ one time they actually have a talk about their relationship)

by fangirlingacrosstheuniverse



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M, Idiots in Love, Skulduggery Pleasant Fic Exchange 2019, Valduggery - Freeform, joking mention of necrophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21723988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingacrosstheuniverse/pseuds/fangirlingacrosstheuniverse
Summary: Valkyrie and Skulduggery have to talk about their relationship. Unfortunately the world seems to be against them.
Relationships: Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: Skulduggery Pleasant Fic Exchange 2019





	Valduggery Interrupted (+ one time they actually have a talk about their relationship)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bubblemoon66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblemoon66/gifts).



"Skulduggery, you idiot."

The man tilted his hat at an angle he considered 'rakish' and Valkyrie considered 'annoying'.

"No, no, don't do the tilt, you always do that before you say the dumbest things ever." 

The tilt deepened, and somehow he gave the impression of grinning smugly despite not having a face. 

"My dearest Valkyrie, I think you'll find everything I say and do is the height of sophistication."

Before he could get to into character as some sort of suave, old-world gentleman, she opted to distract him with her usual witty banter. 

"Oh, is that why you felt the need to give Alice a little warlock plushie for her last birthday? Is revealing sorcery to the world now considered the 'height of sophistication?" She pinched her nose to sound appropriately nasal and whiny. "Why was I not informed of this development?"

Skulduggery, who had never in his significant lifespan turned down a chance for melodrama, turned up his nose in a faux-snooty way. 

"Dear Valkyrie. You must remember that I am the worldly sophisticate in this relationship, and you are the brawns. The sidekick, if you will."

"Sidekick! I'll show you sidekick!" The conversation, such as it was, proceeded to deteriorate into a tangle of limbs as Valkyrie pounced on Skulduggery and did her level best to kick him, though they were both lying on the floor. 

Their brief wrestling match concluded with Valkyrie collapsing on top of Skulduggery in a pile of giggles. Her giggles slowly subsided, and she became aware of the slightly awkward position. Her eyes settled on Skulduggery, and she felt her cheeks warm slightly. He was being uncharacteristically quiet under her, and she leaned down a little, hardly daring to think about what she was doing. 

"Ah, Valkyrie? Your pocket is buzzing."

She startled, realising he was right. He reached up and fished the phone out of her jacket pocket, giving a small sigh when he saw the number, then he swiped the screen and answered the call. "Ghastly? What's up?" He listened for a moment, looking incredulous. As he listened, he tapped the runes on his collarbone, and a facade melted up over his skull. He raised his wide expressive eyebrows, and mouthed the words "zombie shark". He nodded, realised Ghastly couldn't see him, then confirmed they'd meet Ghastly at the Sanctuary and hung up. 

"So... zombie shark, huh?" She asked, clambering off him and offering a hand up. "Zombie shark," He confirmed. As they got in the Bentley, she couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at Ghastly for choosing that moment to call.

\-----

"Valkyrie." Skulduggery prodded her with a finger, pulling her back from the edge of sleep. She blinked her eyes open, adjusting to the gloom. The credits were rolling on the TV screen, but for the life of her she couldn't remember what movie they'd even been watching. She shifted the bowl of popcorn that had been on her lap onto the floor, then looked over at Skulduggery. He nodded his head to the bundle of blankets tucked up between them. Ah, Alice had fallen asleep. Her sister looked so cute when she slept; the little bundle of cuteness Valkyrie loved most in the world. 

Though that wasn't quite true... she looked up at the man (well. Skeleton) sitting across from her, and saw him looking back at her over Alice's head. His head was tilted slightly, and he was giving her an uncharacteristically soft expression. Soft, and just a little bit curious, like she was a puzzle for him to solve.

Suddenly Valkyrie was aware of how very close they were sitting. Even with Alice between them; she was a small kid, and the sofa wasn't massive to begin with. Skulduggery seemed to notice, too, but he didn't pull away. 

Neither did she; she'd be damned if she gave in first. 

"Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, gaze not leaving her face. His voice was a fraction lower than usual, somehow rougher sounding. Neither pulled away as they moved to close the gap between them, though they still allowed a little room for Alice.

"Stephanie, we're home!"

They leapt apart as if someone had poured water on them.

Skulduggery hastily detangled himself from the sofa and blankets, rushing to the door (not that he would ever admit to rushing) to shush Valkyrie's parents to avoid waking Alice. Valkyrie watched him go, and despite her frustration at being interrupted, couldn't help the affection that built in her chest at the sight of him talking so casually to her parents. It did her heart good to see him involving himself in family life again. Still... she wished her parents had been just a couple of minutes later. She really wanted to know where that moment on the sofa was leading. 

\------

"Well," Skulduggery said, carefully looking away from her face. They were alone, in Skulduggery's house. Ghastly and Tanith had just left to have a dinner date (not that they admitted that's what they were doing). It had been a long day, but this was the first time she'd been alone with Skulduggery in weeks. She had something to say, and she was not going to get distracted again. Come hell or high water. "I guess it's time to go to bed. There should be fresh sheets on your bed. I'll just-"

"Wait. Hold that thought."

Valkyrie shut the door and checked the lock. Then she checked it again, just to be sure. Nothing was going to interrupt them this time, she was sure of it. Then she advanced on Skulduggery's phone. 

"Ah, Valkyrie, shouldn't we be listening out for Ghastly's call-" "Nope!" She grabbed his phone, held it with hers, then turned and threw them both out the window. Then she locked the window for good measure. 

Skulduggery's head tilted. "Don't you think that was a little excessive?"

"Given the effort it's taken to get the two of us in a room alone with no distractions? I think I haven't been excessive enough." 

He nodded, taking his gloves and hat off and placing them neatly to the side. His facade was still up, but she was having trouble reading his expression.

Wordlessly, he tapped the runes at his throat and the facade melted away, leaving his skull bare. She couldn't help but think it was somehow easier for her to read his emotions like this then when he was pretending to have a face. "Valkyrie... I'm a skeleton."  
She interrupted him. She couldn't help it; it was like a compulsion. "Yeah thanks Skulduggery. I never noticed."  
He sighed. "I'm not saying this right. I know telling you not to do something is the fastest way to make you do it, but Valkyrie... I'm dead. And significantly older than you. And I know-" He held up a hand, stopping her protest. She fell silent. Fine- she would let him talk himself out. But he wouldn't talk her out of this. Their relationship had been growing for years; this was just the next step.  
He was still talking; she tuned back in. "Not to mention what your parents would say! I met you when you were twelve-" 

Okay, she had to cut in. "My parents don't get a say in this. I'm an adult now, which is why I waited until now to say anything. And I don't care that you're dead. You seem alive enough to me." She took a step closer to him, and he automatically backed up a step. Noticing the backs of his legs brushing against his sleep armchair, she smirked and took another step closer. He fell back into the armchair, and her smirk grew. She stood as close as possible, blocking him in. 

"Skulduggery. I don't care about your objections. The only objection that would stop me going for this would be you convincing me you don't feel the same. Can you do that?"  
His silence said it all. Her smirk grew. "That's what I thought." She leaned down and kissed his teeth gently, then pulled back expectantly. 

He was silent for a moment more.  
"I always knew taking you on as an apprentice was a bad idea. I didn't realise you were a closeted necrophiliac, though." But as he spoke, he reached around her and pulled her into him, so she ended up straddling his legs.  
She smirked victoriously as she leaned in to kiss him again.

**Author's Note:**

> My assignment for the Skulduggery Pleasant Fic Exchange 2019! Sorry the ending is a little rushed, I've been super busy recently and didn't quite manage to perfect this the way I wanted to. Still, I hope you like it! Based off the prompts of a 5 things + 1 style fic, and a babysitting Alice story.  
> Also the timeline for this is purposefully vague, so uhh sorry about that. I'm assuming Valkyrie is around eighteen or so, and canon events... probably happened at some point. Ghastly is alive though, because fuck canon.


End file.
